Fear is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as "an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain or harm." But fear is supposed to be a temporary emotion, designed to signal our brain to take action to protect us from a dire situation. The natural purpose of fear is not to cause general malaise, depression and sleepless nights, nor is it to sell newspapers and generate television ratings.
So what can we do? Whether you are religious or not, great guidance can be found in The Serenity Prayer: "O God and Heavenly Father, to us the serenity of mind to accept that which cannot be changed; the courage to change that which can be changed, and the wisdom to know the one from the other." Simply put--worry about the things you can control and let the rest go.
The next step is more important. Once we have recognized what is within our control, we need to take action. Develop a game plan. If we think that we are going to lose our job, then we need to start saving money, start looking for another job or take steps to start a business. If we're fearful that our children may take drugs, we need to talk to them about the risks, analyze who their friends are and take steps to keep them out of situations where drug use might be encouraged. Sometimes we may need to make tough choices--putting off a vacation if we're worried about money, telling our kids "no" when they ask to go to a party we think is risky, even if "everyone else is going" and we're "ruining their lives".
I find it useful to look at my fears and think out the worst case scenario and figure out how I would deal with it. Take the loss of a job. The worst case scenario is that I wouldn't be able to afford my mortgage, my house would be foreclosed on, I would have to max out my credit cards and ultimately file for bankruptcy. What would I do then?
Well for starters, I'd find another job, even one that pays significantly less. I would have to move my family and we would most likely have to rent a house or apartment. I might have to ask my parents for help, maybe move in with them for a time.
None of this would be pleasant, but we would survive. Having a plan takes the edge off of the fear. It also inspires me to fight at all costs to prevent this from happening by working harder, saving more money, spending less and exploring other options for income. Dread and despair are human emotions that serve no biological purpose. A gazelle chased by a cheetah doesn't plop on the couch with a box of cookies and watch afternoon talk shows. It runs like hell and doesn't stop.
One of my dad's favorite quotes is from Frank Herbert's Dune: "Fear is the mind killer." Google that line or read the books; there is a lot more to it that's instructional on this topic. The key is to detach yourself from the emotion, look at the cause, free yourself from the paralysis and take action accordingly.
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